a reason …

This is an old post reposting from my earlier blog.

This is a weird feeling, but I’ve been living with it for quite sometime now. Recently read an article in the times of india and realized I am indeed not an alien, not many but most of the indians today are facing this problem. So what’s it, sounds quite strange but we have somehow forgotten to enjoy, to feel oneself as a part of the society, we need a reason to be happy. And we won’t celebrate because first, I need to accomplish that, finish this and a hell lot of worries. Our feelings now have more intricate relation with our work and desires. In here, people are willing to do overtime just to have some free time, employees want holidays, they need a break. But wait! No one’s forcing you and you really don’t have to do the extra work, it’s your life have fun. Don’t know if its our present lifestyle or we’ve lost something important as we matured. Now, will you have a good sleep depends on whether someone wishes you a good night …
When we were kids, there was never a second thought that the homework needs to be finished first, there was never a no when a friend asked for playing cricket. Time was never wasted having hours long gossips. Some would say grow up life’s not the same as it used to be, you are no longer a kindergarten boy or a careless teenager, you’ll have to make something for yourself, be responsible. And that’s when I really get boiled up …
Shut up!!! I know what I’ve to do and I’ll do it when I want to, just stop reminding me.
That’s said, the question is do I actually have some plans for my future, do I know how i’m going to get the work finished by deadline. The point is most of us just can’t get out of this situation, even if someone claims, still they have overburdened themselves with endless goals and desires. Most of us are will follow up what others are doing, follow up with the working protocol and you’ll get somewhere . While many, including me finds this simply awkward how can you be doing something you can’t get your heart into.
For a computer science student, there, are, always some nasty neurons signaling …
Hey! u’ve got to learn html5, and network programming and what about tweaking kernel and ircs and subversioning and get some good project and blah and blah!!! …
Well this never ends and I still haven’t found a way to get out of it …
These are lines from Steve Jobs during an annual commencement speech at Stanford(2005) …
” Your time is limited. So don’t waste it living someone else life. Don’t be trapped by dogma, which is living with the results of other peoples thinking. Don’t let the noise of others opinion drown out your own inner voice and most important have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become, everything else is secondary. “
It may seem that I am going of the hook now, but if we want to(not have to) end this endless quest of not doing something coz we already have a lot to do, we will have to create a bridge and the time is now…
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Vulnerable..

Endless just endless..
What this constant craving always gave me..

The balance in a circle..
Or the sphere of my life..

Infinite my dreams..
Those constants of reality..

For reasons no apt..
We still wish to adapt.. 

Fools they assume..
Surprising..
Freedom from whom?
What's even left to defend..

Crippled by self existence..
Endless scrolling into nothingness..

life in xii dimension … the beginning

Thinking of the times when dreams were reality...
 Now my life's a dream and falling is humanity...  


 I followed the curves , followed curiosity...
 Waited for light but it was gravity... 


Fade into darkness the mind still dreams...
 So breaking in pieces, makes us free...




This is my love, there's my fate...
 Reaching singularity, it is my grave...




The door is open, dimensions separate ...
 There was the god, making our ways ...




Make no mistakes, man's strange ...
 Even the traitor's hiding so safe ...

unsay the dream..

It was rainy, and as usual traffic was unrealistically high in Pune.. All a mind wants is a reason to wander.. Thinking about the differences in life and the senseless chase..

 

we wish for a change to come but wishing is all we have done..  watching the rain.. watching the cold.. spring summers..  the autumn has come..  
but it’s with you my dear i see my sun.. 
beginning my day the world has been set free.. turning sensitive to insensitive, sense to no sense is all they plea..  waiting for these monotonous voices to fall into silence.. 
using chemicals to calm down the violence.. 
It wasn’t so easy to fell a prey.. 
21st century religion and faith to betray..